While you and the rest of America turn their backs, I am being systematically murdered. None of you will help me against these traitorous killers; most pitch in to help them hurt me more. I have cried out to God in severe pain while you mocked and laughed thinking how funny it is to you that I suffer so horribly while denied all of life for your gain. I’ve watched the cruel and evil be glorified and paid for mistreatment of me. I’ve witnessed literally hundreds of billions made off the mockery and slander of me; easy money.
My life and home are daily terrorized and attacked with people’s games amounting to crimes. Real terrorism, not some play on words like the media does but real crimes meant to cause me both life and bodily harm and hardship. All of this would normally make you wonder why people are doing this to me yet it seems that most everyone knows and participates. It is tyranny of the worst kind from a nation of heartlessness.
Despite having Medicaid insurance through SSI Disability, I’ve been denied any medical care or medicine of any kind for over ten years. I’ve been to eight hospitals in three states and numerous doctors and still I am outright denied any help whatsoever for a real life threatening injury that has progressively worsened by the day. My suffering cannot be explained as there are no words to fulfill its discernment.
My long term question is why? But then I ask why about many things occurring in my life. The pain and suffering agony is indescribable. I know for certain that there could be no worse suffering fate for any human being. To leave me in this horrible misery is nothing outside of cruelty; tyranny; a crime against humanity of the worst kind; a long slow pure hell of a death. Still, as I sit in another doctor’s office waiting for some kind of help, looking at all the happy and healthy people coming in and out of the facility while I am left waiting, I ask myself, “Why won’t they help me?” Young and old, everyone gets help and healing while I am sent back home in my suffering for over a decade of worsening.
I have suspected for years that someone was coercing the medical people to leave me suffering. They would always start out acting like they truly care and want to help me but then all of a sudden a short time later, a stranger walks in to tell me I’m being sent home and they won’t help. Someone who has nothing to do with my case suddenly appears to throw me out of the hospital, using lies as an excuse for doing so. I have not seen a doctor. No one physically examines me. I’m just tossed away in a severely cruel lack of compassion on the part emergency personnel who act as though they could not care less if I live or die. It all gives me proof of a long term suspicion. Someone wants me suffering and dead.
I ask myself what it is that they tell others to instantly turn them against me as if I am their worst enemy. I can’t imagine as I’ve not done anything to anyone ever to be worthy of this murder. I wonder if they lie about me or do they pay them to hurt me or maybe do it out of threat against their life or livelihood. How are people instantly turned against me in all cruelty and apathy of what appears to be someone’s evil revenge.
I’ve been robbed, cheated, and denied all of my life as if my very existence somehow offends someone. As I lay here in screaming pain crying out to a God that does not answer nor help except with hateful words through others and even from the tv and radio. Yes, I am spied on through radio and television for many years, decades in fact while being robbed of my every creative work planned to one day be my living. How could I ever succeed at being a writer when everything I write immediately becomes the property of someone else who finds success with my work. I’m left laid up at home alone in suffering. My own relatives have joined the rest of the world turning a hurtful heart of apathy toward my pain. I know they can’t heal me but they could care; not even an occasional phone call from one. They could accompany me to the hospital to show them that someone cares and I am worth saving. No, no one cared in all these years, no more than the people causing my demise through the ongoing denial of survival needs.
I need help. I need help in everything and anything in life and have none. I cannot find one person in America that will help me in any way with anything; not even my kin folk. All I conclude is “God doesn’t love me. My life is proof.” That’s why I wrote the song “Proof of Your Love” performed by the group For King and Country whom I also named. Yep, Christians steal music too. Just ask KLOVE radio where theirs comes from. It came from me for years, almost all of it. Like I said, hundreds of songs I’ve lost to crime. Still, I’m made to suffer despite billions made from my enslavement. I’m no criminal to deserve it. It’s organized crime with government help, nothing more. Once I’m dead, no one has to worry anymore about this witness to their crimes of the worst kind.
And I am worried to death. Think about it. I am all alone; no help with anything needing done or that occurs. I worry. What if a hurricane comes in. I can’t make preparations. I’m not physically able. What if a hard winter breaks the water lines or down the utility wires on this place? I can’t go out and fix it; I’m not able. How on earth do I get to the store to buy survival needs, even food, medicine, household items. How can I prepare a meal when I can’t stand for longer than a couple minutes before going into shock and screaming pain while my guts spill out of my body. I am in a bad way, friend and I worry.
Am I to die thinking/knowing that this is the real American people I’ve known and loved all my life? That my own mother didn’t care enough to just call and ask “How are you?” That’s another tune of mine; “Finding myself at a loss for words.” Now I know why. There are no words that will make you understand or care. So this is what really happens in America when we grow older and get sick? Just systematic denial of life until we die and are out the way? God have mercy. You fooled me America. I thought you were real.
And so it ends. Are you going to let them kill me and get away with it? Will you help me? “Let my life be the proof of your love.”